October 4, 2012

How To Make Sure I Never Read Your Blog


Please use the smallest font size you possibly can, the smaller the better.

Enable word verification because deciphering those suckers is a hoot.


Use a dark background and a neon font color.

Make sure music plays automatically when I open your page.

Is it wicked hard for me to interact with you? Super!

Clutter the hell out of your page. Preferably with blinking buttons and ads.


Normally I'm not such a crab-ass.
Tomorrow I'll be unicorns and sunshine. I promise.




45 comments:

  1. These word verification prompts keep getting more and more RIDICULOUS. Who can read those?

    And yes: music. Worst idea ever.

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    1. I end up with a few spam comments but they NEVER make it through and actually end up being posted.

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  2. Well said.

    You must have run into several in a row today to knock you off your unicorn.

    I'm one of the "Is it wicked hard for me to interact with you? Super!"

    Gina @ Book Dragon's Lair

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    1. Yes, I was knocked off of my unicorn, lol. Love that ;)

      If I have to search and search for a way to follow someone's blog..that just bites. :(

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    2. oh, the "follow me" should be easy to find, it's just that I have several blogs so when you're looking at my profile page it may be hard to find my main one.

      um, I should delete some of them....

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    3. Oh, I see what you mean, you have a lot of blogs listed under "My Blogs" Yea, I suppose you could delete the ones you really don't use. Or hide them somehow?

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  3. I've wondered whether word verification actually favours bots, because it sure doesn't favour people.

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    1. LOL, no kidding right?? They are hard to read..my poor old eyes can't take it!

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  4. I think you're OK with my blog except that I do have word verification ON. I try leaving it off, but get a ton of spam.

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    1. Does it get through? I've been lucky, spam comments are always tagged and bagged and I never see them on my blog :)

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  5. Oops, I'm guessing that you've browsed quite a few of those recently? I agree with all of the above, and would like to add that annoying Javascript thing that makes snow (or other stuff) fall on one's screen. Distracting! And preferably no flash either people!

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    1. Oh yea! I forgot to mention those, lol. Annoying!

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  6. This made my morning. I never understood those people who decided that their blog had to look like an Angelfire homepage from 1996. (The '90s were exceptional except for that whole midi file on your website craze.) I agree on every single one of the points you've raised, especially the background color/font. If it hurts my eyes to read a blog, I'm not going to read that blog.

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    1. Angelfire homepage!! Bwahahaha! Now that was funny! ;) I appreciate people's creativity but if it HURTS me I can't do it, I just can't.

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  7. I hate all of those things too! The clutter thing really bothers me because then their page takes forever to load. I usually give up. lol And I tend to go through ,y google reader and click to open a bunch of updates before I comment on one so if music is going off, I have NO idea where it is coming from. I hate that. :)

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    1. Having a bunch of tabs open and then hearing mystery music makes me want to drink. A lot.

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    2. me too! The music use to freeze my computer before I replaced it

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  8. Amen to this list. Especially the word verification. So annoying and often times not discernible. Luckily playlists aren't licensed for the UK so they're all disabled automatically Yay for never having to listen to other people's crap taste in music.

    One of my pet peeves is really long paragraphs on blog posts. When the whole post is basically one paragraph. I know it's dumb, but it bugs.

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    1. I know what you mean, it leads to eye fatigue. Bust it up with a picture or something right??

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  9. I hate word verification! I try to keep it off my blog entirely because it irks me. I found out that my GFC apparently has it, but I can't figure out how to disable it. All the google searches I have done about it are useless as well. :(

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    1. Really? If people try to follow you that way they have to do a word verification? Stinks that you can't find a way to get rid of it :( Boo

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  10. Here, here! I especially hate bloggers new word verification...I can hardly read it!

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    1. It's hard to see!! I have a hard enough time with regular sized font..that crooked stuff makes me lose my mind.

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  11. Yes, yes , and yes. I would say that you need to get out of my brain Jennifer, but I think I'm ok with the two of us sharing all of the same excellent thoughts. :)

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    1. Great minds Lindsey, great minds ;)

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  12. I laughed very hard at this.

    We discussed word verification before. It is getting more and more difficult. I guess it usually says "Prove that you are not a Robot". As a result of being unable to read one after another after another challenge, I am coming to the realization that I am indeed a machine!

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    1. Ha ha! Perhaps you are! Honestly, I'd rather get up and dance a jig than decipher one of those damn verification things!

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  13. I DESPISE when music starts playing!!!!!!!!!!!! I always think someone has broken into my home or my cell is ringing a bizarre classical tune or that you're dumb for having music play on your website when no one wants to hear it!!!!!

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    1. Perhaps if you ran a music blog? Maybe then it would be appropriate? Probably not though, lol

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  14. Exactly!!

    to all of this!!

    I've discovered that word verification off but moderating posts older than 14 days works really well. Very little spam gets through and most of that is on older posts so moderating those works.

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    1. Oh that makes sense! When I do get a spam comment it's almost always on an old post. Blogger has caught all of them so far, but I like your idea here :)

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  15. I hate those word verifications too! I often have to try two or three times to get it right. I've only ever had ONE spam message actually make it through my filter.

    As for all your other points, I don't even make it to the word verification point if the font is hard to read or everything is flashing at me like I'm in a casino. :)

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    1. Like a casino! Ha, that made me laugh! Truly though, it's just plain awful. I like it simple man, simple.

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  16. I have to agree with all of the above! I've gone to blogs that either never finish loading, or load all messed up and with graphics missing (including the header). Sometimes there's one that has lots to look at that does interest me, but I end up feeling so overwhelmed I can't stay, much less read any content! And I can't read reviews where people have put in bold the sentences they want to stand out - it's like getting a secondhand book and finding other people's comments and underlinings all through it. Can't think for myself! But also, when it's done too much, it's hard on the eyes and I can't follow the lines. Funny that.

    And word verification drives me insane.

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    1. The real bummer is when I go to a blog I like and there are so many busy things all over the place that I can't read it :( It makes me brain/eyes ache!

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  17. You hit on every one of my pet peeves! I don't know which one is more obnoxious...when music blares, I mute my sound. And I'm going blind enough with the word verifications (who picks those ridiculous unreadable choices?), so if your font is illegible, you can bet I won't return!

    Thanks for sharing!

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  18. I understand that some fonts are cool and they look all pretty but damn they are hard to READ. And isn't that what bloggers want? Readers? Make it simple for us then please! :)

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  19. Oh, I love you! I have so many of the same pet peeves. I hate verification. The harder it is to comment the less I am to come back and try. Design is everything and ease is second.

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    1. LOL, love you too! Everyone I know pretty much feels the same way about crowded/noisy/blinky/hard to read blogs. So why are there so many of those crowded/noisy/blinky/hard to read blogs out there? I just don't get it!

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  20. Thanks for the laugh. I had to jump over here and read your post after seeing a link on your It's Monday post.

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    1. You're welcome Heidi ;) I'm glad you did!

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  21. Bahaha thanks for the laugh, was just what I needed and yep you nailed some of my pet peeves. Now you've got me thinking though; does my bum look big in this aka Is my blog up to scratch? now that's a blog post I'm going to write!

    Ps unicorns and sunshine isn't nearly as much fun :))

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    1. LOL, your bum doesn't look fat at all, your blog is lovely :)

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  22. I love when you fall off your unicorn...you made my morning. LOL!! I totally agree with you on all points!!!

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    1. Thank you, thank you..I'll be here all week!! ;)

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